To Turn Away Love
by BlazeorFade
Summary: Slash. SamDean. John finds out his sons are lovers and decides to take matters into his own hands to break them up.
1. Discovery

**Title: To Turn Away Love- Part 1/?**

**Author: BlazeorFade**

**Rating: NC-17**

**Warning: Incest, of course, Papa Winchester Angst and anger.**

**Summary: John finds out about the boys and decides to take matters into his own hands to break them up.**

**Disclaimer: Please, if they were mine…well lets just say I'd never stop smiling.**

**Betaed by lady-shain**

John was frozen in shock. He'd never thought of himself as a man who could be dumbstruck but after what he'd just seen he'd have to reevaluate. The moment kept replaying in his mind, an endless, unbelievable loop..

He'd pulled up in front of the cabin they'd been recuperating in for the past few months and cut the engine, taking a minute to himself before going inside. He was back early from the job at a garage he'd gotten in a nearby town. Obviously, they hadn't noticed him or they wouldn't have done it. Dean had limped up the steps to the porch where Sam was leaning against the door. As soon as Dean's foot hit the top step, Sam pushed off the doorframe and wrapped his arms around Dean. As John watched in horror, Sam tilted his brother's head up and kissed him - a long, passionate kiss – the kiss of two people accustomed to each others touch. He'd kept waiting for Dean to shove his brother away, but he didn't. Dean leaned into the kiss with his whole body. Then Sam pulled Dean inside with a wide grin on his face.

After breaking out of his stupor, John's first instinct was to charge in there and demand an explanation - any explanation - then to beat the shit out of both of them. Instead, he started his truck and backed away from the cabin. Five miles out, he pulled over onto the side of the road and turned off the ignition.

'Its a mistake,' he thought, breathing deeply and trying to clear his mind. He'd been mistaken. He must have. His sons wouldn't commit incest.

'Only One way to know, ' a little voice in his head said rationally. He hated that voice.

Holding the keys in his hand, John braced himself, hesitating for the first time in his life. Finally, he started the truck and turned back around, speeding like a bat out of hell to find out the truth.

He turned the engine off long before he neared the cabin so that he wouldn't risk being seen or heard. As John stalked through the woods towards their temporary home he kept telling himself he couldn't have seen what he thought he'd seen. If he had, there had to be a rational explanation. There'd better be.

John snuck up on the house silently. The sun was just barely setting so this was when he would usually have been on his way home. John's throat went dry the closer he got to the place, choosing a vantage point to spy on his sons. The main room had no windows but the two bedrooms did. John looked in his own window first, stalling for time.

'Stop being a pussy,' he told himself.

His fears were confirmed as he looked into the window to the boys' room. He was hard pressed not to empty his stomach at what he saw. He watched in disgust, unable to look away.

Dean's hand was threaded through Sam's hair as his brother's head bobbed up and down over his cock, licking and sucking at the head while one hand held Dean in place on the mattress. Sam's other hand was busy stroking his own dick.

"Sammy…Sam…baby…fuck…." Dean moaned, loud enough for John to hear even through the thick double paned glass.

Eyes wide, John stumbled backwards and nearly collided with the pile of wood stacked there for when the nights grew cold. He stopped himself from falling so that he wouldn't make a noise and alert them to his presence.

Back in the truck, John gripped the steering wheel white knuckled, as he processed the situation.

His hunter's instincts took over and he jumped first to the possible cause of this…whatever the fuck it was.

He mentally rattled off every lust spell he knew, everything and anything that worked by influencing people's desires. The problem was that those types of creature usually preyed on hidden desires. Even if it was some kind of spell on Sam and Dean, they'd have to have had those desires in the first place for it to work. Like hypnotism, they couldn't be forced to do something they didn't already want to do. Impossible.

Possession. They had to be possessed by something, he decided. He had to test it though; make sure he was right.

John started the truck and drove the ten miles to the nearest town. He had a simple, but effective plan. Stopping at a fast food joint, He ordered three meals, then removed the lids from Sam and Dean's drinks and took out the small flask of holy water he kept in the glove compartment. He unscrewed the top, hesitating slightly before pouring a small trickle into each one. It wouldn't take much and as soon as they took a drink he'd know if he was right.

John made sure that he made plenty of noise when he entered the cabin; stomping up the stairs; scraping the key loudly in the lock; rattling the door handle.

"Brought dinner." John called, dumping the food casually on the small table they ate at in the tiny kitchenette.

Sam looked up from the book he was reading on the couch. "Take out? What, is it Christmas and no one told us?"

"I couldn't take one more night of Dean's spaghetti." John joked, mentally congratulating himself for keeping his cool.

"Hey, I make good spaghetti." Dean protested, coming out of the bathroom that they all shared. John blinked, noticing for the first time that Sam's t-shirt was a little damp, like he'd dressed in a hurry after showering.

"Yeah, okay son." John said, his tone placating. Sam snorted a laugh and jumped to his feet, taking a seat at the table and grabbing one of the bags and a soda.

John sat down with his own food and tried not to look like he was watching them take the first bites of their meals, waiting for them to drink.

Finally, after what felt like hours, but was in fact only five minutes or so, Dean took the top off his drink and took a deep swallow.

Nothing happened.

John forced himself to take a bite of his food, telling himself to stay calm. Sam put down his burger and picked up his drink. John watched, all his hopes resting on his younger son. Sam took a sip from the straw, then looked up as he noticed his father watching him. He smiled quizzically.

"Thanks for dinner, Dad. I don't think I could eat anymore of Dean's spaghetti either."

"You're welcome, son." John hoped that neither of them heard the slight crack in his voice.

"You alright, Dad?" Dean asked.

"Yeah." John cleared his throat, finished his dinner in two bites and stood. "I'm goin' out, boys."

"Where?" Sam asked. John didn't miss the quick look his youngest son sent Dean when he asked. How subtle they were. He wondered how many of those looks he'd missed, just because he'd never thought to look for them.

"Out." John said, hurrying to the door.

"What's wrong with him?" He heard Sam ask Dean in a low voice before he closed the door behind him.

They weren't possessed or bewitched. John drove to the nearest bar.

* * *

He barely tasted the first shot of whiskey, or the second. By the fifth, he finally felt numb enough to think about what he'd just seen. His sons were fucking each other. His sons. His soldiers.

He wondered who'd started it. Dean was the oldest and he should have stopped it before it started, but somehow John just knew that if Sam had been the seducer, Dean wouldn't have been able to say no. Dean could never say no to his little brother. His little brother. Who he was fucking. John downed another shot.

He had to do something. He had to put a stop to this. John took out his phone and dialed Dean's cell. After a few rings Dean answered. Did he sound breathless? Or was that just John's overactive mind?

"Dean, I'm going out of town for a couple of days, " he said, swallowing back the questions plaguing his mind.

"What? Where?" Dean asked in surprise.

"Don't worry about it. I'll be back in a few days. Don't go anywhere 'till you hear from me again." John ordered.

"Is that Dad?" He heard Sam ask in the background.

"Dean, do you understand?" John barked, wanting to get off the phone before he lost control.

"Yes sir." Dean said.

"Good." John said , his voice cold. He hung up, threw a few bills down on the bar and went out to his truck. It was going to be a long night. He had some calls to make.

* * *

Dean stroked his hands through Sam's hair, watching him sleep peacefully, his head resting on Dean's chest. He felt a little bad for being happy that their father was gone for the next few days. John's absence meant that Dean could have Sam in his bed like this again; meant that they didn't have to make do with hurried fucks and quick hand jobs whenever John was at work. Sam could fall asleep after a slow bout of lovemaking in Dean's arms and Dean didn't have to keep one ear open all night, ready to hustle Sam over to his empty bed before their dad came in.

"Go to sleep, Baby." Sam said in the husky, sleep roughened voice that Dean loved to hear first thing in the morning. He half smiled up at Dean.

"Okay, Sammy." Dean said. With one arm wrapped possessively around Sam and the other tangled in his hair, Dean let himself drift off to sleep.

* * *

"And you saw them doing this?" Pastor Jim asked John, watching him pace back and forth in the empty church. John had driven all night and through most of the next day to get to Jim, thinking that he would be the person most likely to help him.

"Yes." It took all his years of training to keep himself detached and his voice steady as he described what he'd seen.

"I need you to do something for me." John said. "I need something to make them forget."

"Forget?" Jim repeated slowly.

"Forget being-" John couldn't bring himself to say the words. He refused to think of them as lovers.

"Forget being together. Something to stop this." John stopped his pacing to look his old friend in the eye, so he'd see how serious he was about this.

"An anti-love charm?" Jim asked. He'd heard of them before. A particularly reprehensible member of his flock had tried to use one on his son when he'd found out about his preference for men and his long time lover.

"Yes." John said eagerly.

"I don't know if I can do that, John." Jim hadn't approved of it when the man used it on his son. He believed in free will just as much as he believed in the bible..

"It's a sin!" John yelled, grasping at the one thing he was sure that Jim would understand.

"You aren't doing this because you believe in sin, John. You're doing it because you don't want this for them." Jim said, more harshly than he'd meant to.

"And what, you think it's a good idea?" John spat out.

"I didn't say that." .

"Then help me put a stop to this. If it works they can have-"

"Normal lives? That's also not why you're doing this, John." Jim scoffed. He put his face in his hands, wondering why, how this could happen. On the one hand he believed in free will; on the other, he'd had a hand in raising Sam and Dean and teaching them right from wrong. Jim wondered if he'd failed them in some way, that they would turn to each other like that. Resigned, he looked up at John through his hands.

"Are you sure about this?"

"Yes." John said without hesitation.

"You'll be manipulating their minds-"

"I know what I'm asking for. Will you help me or not?" John said through clenched teeth.

"You know that they will never forgive you if they find out." He spoke slowly, wanting to be sure that John understood what he was attempting, and what the potential consequences were if it went wrong.

"Then you'd better make sure they don't." John said, coldly.

"I'll see what I can find." Jim said, silently praying that the boys never did find out.

**TBC……..**


	2. Betrayal

**Title: To Turn Away Love- Part 2/?**

**Author: BlazeorFade**

**Rating: NC-17**

**Warning: Wincest, of course, Papa Winchester Angst and anger.**

**Summary: John finds out about the boys and decides to take matters into his own hands to break them up.**

**Disclaimer: I have no ownership.**

**Beta'd by ladyshain **

* * *

John lay in his bed staring at the ceiling, contemplating the mess that was his life. He didn't have to ask himself when in all went wrong. He knew that date by heart. That night was forever etched behind his eyes, waiting to replay when he dreamed. Now, he had something new to haunt his mind. The image of his sons touching, kissing, devouring each other, warred with his memory of Mary pinned to the ceiling of Sam's nursery. God, he felt like he'd lost everything all over again, with no one to blame but himself this time. In his heart he knew that this was all his fault. It was his fault, and he had to fix it. He'd kept his boys too isolated; trained them to trust no one, not even other hunters. He felt like he'd failed Mary in some fundamental way.

The salty tears John held back every second of every day fell silently. He couldn't bring himself to acknowledge them by wiping them away.

* * *

A bracelet each. Braided black leather, and inlaid beneath the more obvious circles of protection were the solution to John's problems. One spell branded into the hard circlet to turn away feelings of love and under that something more complicated to erase the memory of a lover.

"As long as they where these they should go back to being just brothers." Pastor Jim said with a hint of unsuppressed sadness in his voice as he handed the bracelets to John.

"What if they come off by accident?" John asked, running his finger over the symbols carved into the handcrafted leather of one of the bracelets.

"I guess you'll have to make sure that they don't." Jim said coolly, responding in the same indifferent manner that John had to his fears and doubts about this endeavor. Guilt ran through him almost immediately. John was a wreck, his eyes bloodshot with dark, tired circles under them. He looked like he'd aged ten years in the three days since he'd arrived begging for, demanding, Jim's help.

"If they came off it will take awhile for everything to come back, hours or days even. There'd be time to get them back on." Jim assured his old friend.

"Listen, I have to get back to the boys, but, um, thanks for…this." John cleared his throat and looked away from Jim.

"Just be careful, John." Jim said quietly, at a loss for anything else to say.

"This stays between us." John said, regaining his composure. Jim nodded solemnly.

He watched the hunter leave his church, wondering what would happen to the Winchester men. As if that family hadn't been through enough already, they now had this to contend with. He had a sinking certainty that this whole plan of John's would end badly. The door opened and one of the local young women from his parish walked in, interrupting his thoughts. Jim put the Winchesters out of his mind for the moment.

* * *

Sam shut his eyes and let the warm spray from the shower wash over him. He was sore all over and he couldn't keep the smile off his face. He'd never realized just how he'd taken their time on the road alone together for granted until their dad had come back. Sam heard the humming before he felt the shower curtain being pulled aside. His grin widened as two strong arms wrapped around his waist. Dean kept humming Metallica, the vibration sending shivers down Sam's spine as he trailed kisses from the nape of his brother's neck and down between his shoulder blades. Who'd have thought 'Enter Sandman' could sound so erotic?

* * *

John tried not to speed home, but twelve hours later he was only ten miles away from the cabin. He forced himself to pull over, take out his phone and dial Dean's cell. He was not going to make the mistake of driving up unannounced again. The phone rang four times before Dean finally answered, sounding groggy and half asleep. It took John a moment to remember that it was three in the morning.

"Dean, I just wanted to tell you I'm on my way home. I'll be there in about twenty minutes." John said.

"Everything alright dad?" Dean asked, snapping awake as soon as he heard his father's voice.

"Everything's fine son, had some business to take care of." John said vaguely, hoping to avoid any questions about his hasty exit.

There was a pregnant pause, the silence on the line stretching out interminably as John waited for Dean to speak again, testing his self control.

"Are you sure you're okay, dad? You sound a little…" Dean trailed off.

"I'm fine, I'll be there in a few." John cut the conversation short and hung up the phone before Dean could ask any more questions. Dean was far more observant than he let on. John should have remembered that.

* * *

Dean looked down at Sam, still fast asleep next to him. He heaved a sigh and moved to wake him up.

"I'm Already awake, Dean." Sam opened his eyes sleepily. He asked. "Dad's coming back?"

"Wow, you really are psychic." Dean said without any real humor.

Sam regarded his brother carefully. Keeping their secrets from their father were wearing down on Dean. He looked tired and guilty half the time. Sam propped himself on his elbow so that he could see Dean's face better in the dark.

"Have you ever thought-"

"No Sam. We're not having this fight again. We can't tell dad, not ever." Dean said roughly.

"Dean, we have to do something."

"Do you honestly think that he'd accept _this_?" Dean demanded, waving his hands over the two of them, laying naked, twined around one another.

"I don't know." Sam said, which meant _No, but I don't want to hide anymore, so think of something._ Problem was, Dean couldn't think of anything and that bothered him even more than the lying and the sneaking around.

"Do you…?" Sam swallowed, unable to bring himself to say it.

"Hell no, of course not." Dean practically yelled. He took a steadying breath. The only thing he was sure of was that he didn't want to give Sam up. Twisted as it was, this was the only thing that made any real sense to him anymore.

Sam looked doubtful, looking away from Dean as he picked at the threadbare coverlet.

"Sam." Sam looked up at him again and ran a hand through his shaggy hair.

"Dad's coming." Sam said, extracting himself from Dean. He headed towards the shower and Dean didn't stop him.

Dean wanted to get up and go to him; to wrap his arms around Sam and tell him that everything was going to be okay; that they'd figure something out, but John was on his way back. There was no time; no matter what he wanted to do, it would have to wait. Dean got up and pulled on a pair of sweat pants, rolling his shoulders until they popped comfortably. He thought about the earliest stages of his relationship with Sam. The'd beeen so tentative, so scared; so unsure; ready to bolt from one another at the first sign of rejection.

He remembered the first time that had Sam kissed him. It had been after a kelpie had nearly drowned Dean and he'd had to be rushed to the emergency room. He could still smell the antiseptic of the hospital, and he thought he could even hear the beeping of the machines monitoring his heart beat.

"I almost lost you." Memory Sam said, choking back tears. He brushed his lips against Dean's and-

Dean was pulled out of his reverie by the sound of the front door opening. He scrubbed his hand over his face and got to his feet to go meet his father in the living room, plastering a smile on his face.

"Hey dad."

"I have something for you boys. Where's your brother?" John put down his bags and pulled out two small satchels from his coat pocket.

"Sam's in the shower." Dean answered. He thought he saw John flinch but he dismissed the idea as being unfounded worry on his part.

"Have a good trip dad?" Dean asked as his father moved around the room restlessly.

John mumbled something that could have been yes and went straight to the kitchen, burying his head in the fridge. If Dean didn't know any better he'd have sworn the older man was avoiding looking at him.

"Are you sure nothing's wrong, dad?" Dean asked from the kitchen doorway.

"Damnit Dean, would you just go get your brother?" John exploded, slamming the fridge door closed after grabbing a beer.

"Yes sir." Dean replied automatically. He walked away as fast as he could because fuck, first Sam was being a temperamental bitch and now Dad had a bug up his ass. Dean shook his head and banged on the bathroom door.

"Sammy, dad needs us. Hurry the hell up." Dean's tone was harsher than he'd meant it to be. He stomped to their room before he lost his temper, messing up Sam's neatly made bed so that it wouldn't be obvious that no one had slept in it for the past four nights. Dean rolled his shoulders a few times trying to get some of the tension out of them. Fuck, he was going to need a vacation after this break of theirs. He left the room before Sam got out of the bathroom, not wanting to see him wrapped only in a thin towel; not wanting to be reminded of what he wouldn't be getting for awhile.

* * *

John drank deeply, needing the numbness that alcohol could produce. He'd drunk more in the past week than he had in years. He stared at the two small bags in the middle of the table, doubt about what he was about to do creeping in for the first time. He knew all about the bond of soldiers; how close people could get in life or death situations. It was frightening how you could come to depend on someone. John wondered if he was about to take away the one thing that kept his sons them from falling apart.

"What's in the bags, dad?" Dean entered the kitchen, his face carefully blank and John had the feeling that he had something to do with that for snapping at him earlier.

"Something for you and your brother." John replied. He watched Dean open the fridge and grab two beers for him and Sam.

Sam came in quietly, grunting a greeting to his dad, taking one of the beers from Dean before he offered it to him. They sat side by side on the opposite side of the table from John.

'It's a mistake, tell them, don't do this.' Some part of John screamed.

'They're fucking each other. They're fucking each other because you didn't raise them right, because you weren't there. Now you have to fix this.' A larger part said firmly. When Dean reached for his beer and brushed Sam's hand that was resting on the tabletop, his decision was made. There was no reaction from either man, but that small contact strengthened John's resolve.

He took the twin leather bands out of their bags. "I had Pastor Jim make these for you," The best lies had a nugget of truth to them. "They're protective charms, some of the strongest I've come across. I want you boys to promise me that you'll never take them off." John looked them both in the eye, willing them to believe; praying that they wouldn't pick up on the tension running through him.

"I thought Bobby was better with protective symbols." Sam said fingering the leather of one of the bracelets.

"Promise me boys, that you won't ever take these off." John repeated, ignoring his younger son's comment.

"Sure dad. We promise." Dean said, shrugging. He reached out to take one of the bracelets and John caught his hand in a steely grip. He put the bracelet on Dean's wrist for him and reached out to do the same for Sam. When they were both wearing them he held on to each of their hands.

"Swear on your mother that you won't take them off." John said. Dean's eyes widened and a look of hurt flashed in them, the way it always did when Mary came up in rare conversations. Sam just looked down at the bracelet in confusion.

"I promise dad, on mom." Dean said in a low voice.

"Sam?" John asked letting go of Dean's hand and focusing on Sam.

"Sure, I promise dad." Sam told him slowly. John released his hand and sat back in his chair, not at all relaxed now that it was done.

"Good, good boys." He said mostly to himself. He stood, drained his beer and said, "I'm gonna hit the hay, you boys better go back to sleep too."

He walked out of the room before his son's could question him. Once barricaded inside his room John slumped against the door. A fine tremble started as soon as he was alone.

"I'm sorry Mary."

**TBC………**

**AN: **I know what you're thinking, "Finally! She updated. What took so damn long?" Sorry it took me so long in between chapters. Hopefully the next one will be done much faster. I really struggled with this chapter, to make John more sympathetic and not just the Bad Guy. So tell me what you honestly think.


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